Marriage

What makes a good marriage? Is it longevity? Compatibility? Some would say constant flowers, gifts and words of adoration go into a good marriage. But I've come to believe (and note: I've only been married 1 year, 3 months and some odd number of days, so you can put me in front of a firing squad if you would like for thinking I can give marriage advice...but please don't) that a good marriage is made up of two people who love each other and who would go to the ends of the earth to be with one another and make each other happy. Two people who would fight through hell and high water to stay together. Two people who honestly and truely enjoy each others' company, even if sometimes they would disagree with that statement.

I have been witness to many marriages. Some short, some everlasting and some absolutely perfect, though they look quite tumultuous on the surface. Call me cheezy (or any other clever name you can come up with...you won't hurt my feelings) but I honestly believe that sometimes people are meant to find each other and spend the rest of their lives together. It happened with me and my parents, so why can't that happen with romantic relationships?

I have come to think about this because I have recently discovered what love really means and how it manifests itself. My husband does not come home every day after work with beautiful flowers for me, he doesn't bring me chocolates on Valentine's Day (he claims he doesn't believe it's a real holiday, but we'll save that for another post) and doesn't think everything that comes out of my mouth is adorable and cute. But what he does do is surprise me everyday with his devotion and true and undeniable love.

As you may know, my father has been sick on and off, and though he's getting better it was very bad for a while. One night, I awoke to a phone call from the police, informing me that my father was being taken to the emergency room in an ambulance and I needed to meet my mother at the hospital. I of course was in a sudden state of panic, and before I could even form a thought or wipe the sleep away from my eyes, my husband was getting dressed and asking me which hospital we needed to drive to. I told him I could drive myself and he should go back to sleep because of his early morning, but it never crossed his mind that he wouldn't go with me. We stayed at the hospital until the sun was beginning to come up, and when there was nothing else we could do we went home. 1 hour later, my dear, sweet husband went to work. Never complaining, never saying he was tired, he drove to work and called me on his drive to tell me that he wanted updates constantly on my dad's condition and that he would leave work at the drop of a hat if I ever needed him. When I hung up the phone, I knew that I was married to the man of my dreams.

Some girls may not have that exact dream when they envision their future husband, but I would encourage girls to open their eyes and stop thinking that candy, flowers and big diamonds (though they are nice and always accepted) are what make a marriage.

My husband showed up at every one of my father's doctors appointments. He came and visited him in the hospital every day after he got off work. When my father woke up from a coma (long story, but if you're reading this you probably know it) my husband wanted to visit him immediately. Every night he prayed with me and every day he showed up. He showed up. As simple as that sounds, I believe that's what makes a marriage.

One day on my way home from work, I decided to stop by my parents house to check on my dad. I hadn't talked to my husband, figuring I would see him at home when he got off work. When I pulled in my parents' driveway, to my surprise my husband's car was sitting in parking spot, looking like it belonged. And it did. I walked in and he was sitting with my parents, chatting and looking so comfortable I could have mistaken their house for ours (except for the OBVIOUS size difference.) Without me asking, without me even knowing, he had shown up.

And now to my point: marriage is not always pretty. It's not always the fairy tale you dreamed about while lying in your childhoood bed. But when you find that one person who shows you selfless love, love that stays strong through the good and the bad, love that actually shines brighter during the rough patches, that's when you know you have the makings of a good marriage. Whether you are single, dating or married, always remember that. Love isn't flashy. It's during the simple times, the sometimes overlooked moments, that true love really shines. And if you remember that and embrace those moments, you can never go wrong.

And who knows, diamonds, flowers and Frank Sinatra seranades could come out at any moment...just be patient. ; )

Call Your Parents Just to Say "I Love You"

Life Lessons

You may have thought I didn't see,
Or that I hadn't heard,
Life lessons that you taught to me,
But I got every word.

Perhaps you thought I missed it all,
And that we'd grown apart,
But Dad, I picked up everything,
It's written on my heart.

Without you, Dad, I wouldn't be
The woman I am today;
You built a strong foundation
No one can take away.

I've grown up with your values,
And I'm very glad I did;
So here's to you, dear Father,
From your forever grateful kid.

---Author Unknown

What a Wonderful World

As almost everyone who knows me well knows, I have 1 very favorite song. It can make me smile, cry, laugh, dance (just depends on my mood) everytime I hear it. Well this video takes that song to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL! Mom, thanks for sending this to me. It's great! And on a day like today, this video is perfect. Enjoy....and pass it on to your friends and family!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rooyt3ptNco&feature=email

If you're looking for a quote and tidbit, I'm sorry but there will not be either today. Say a prayer for your family, friends and those who may be sick or suffering. And have a good Monday.

Make Time

Last night, I had an extremely painful yet fortunate chance to say goodbye to a very close family friend. She has been battling brain cancer for 16 brave months and now doctors say she only has a few days left. As I type this I'm getting choked up thinking about what a wonderful person the world is about to lose and how unfair it is. But if death teaches us anything it's that life is precious and sometimes short and it should never be taken for granted. The amazing things this woman accomplished during her time on her earth are mind-boggling. The thousands of lives that she's touched are forever changed and so many people will be forever grateful that they had the opportunity to know such a wonderful woman. She is, simply, what I aspire to be - smart, beautiful, kind, headstrong, compassionate, loving and above all a great friend no matter what.

I watch as her friends gather together to say their last goodbyes and band together as a group to keep each other strong. Her memory will live on through them, and what a wonderful thing that is. It makes me think of my friendships and how precious they are. Simple things like girls' nights and sweet notes to each other are so important because if you have a strong group of friends, you can do anything. Seeing these women rally around their friend in her final days reminds me to never take my friendships for granted. Always comfort a friend in need. Send flowers or a nice note to a friend for no reason other than to say hello. Keep in touch with friends who have moved away. Make time for your friends, even if you only have time to grab a quick cup of coffee once a week. These things are important because one day your time is up. And when that moment comes I know I don't want to have any regrets or think "If only I had done this." Life and time are fleeting and we must make all the memories we can before we have to say goodbye.

Quote of the Day: "Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone." - Dorothy Parker

Tidbit for Today: Go out and buy some nice stationary with your name or monogram on it and use it not only to write thank-you notes but also to write letters to your friends who you don't get to see or talk to that often. A letter is so fun to receive in the mail, even it's short, and it's a very personal and touching way to stay in touch.

Extra Tidbit

Everyone needs to get in their car at some point today, open the sun roof and drive around, singing some great rock out music! I was singing and dancing to Katy Perry - I find she's best if you turn it up really loud, sing at the top of your lungs and shake your hair all around!

Enjoy!

The Game of Life!

Drum roll please......................"The Game of Life" is now available....................................ONLINE!!!! Can you believe it?! I'm am now going to officially become the most WORTHLESS person at work! Unless you count getting married, having 4 kids, a job, a mansion and winning the Game of Life as the greatest accomplishment of a person's life.....

I used to rock this game with my girlfriends while drinking massive amounts of wine and comparing how many kids we had pegged into the back of our car. Well this online version offers even more fun because if you're tired of getting married to the same old blue or pink piece, you can........drum roll again please........................have a same-sex marriage!!!! Of course this is causing some uproar around the conservative circles, but how fun! Way to spice it up, Life. Way to throw us a curve ball. I just hope I still end up with the mansion!

I've included a link below that will take you to a site where you can play a free trial version. So come on, waste your day away with "The Game of Life" - it is St. Patrick's Day after all.

http://www.shockwave.com/gamelanding/gameoflife.jsp

Quote of the Day: "In all this world, why I do think/ There are five reasons why we drink:/ Good friends,/ Good wine,/ Lest we be dry/ and any other reason why." - Old Irish proverb

One more quote for good measure (it is St. Patty's Day after all): "Work is the curse of the drinking class." - Oscar Wilde

Tidbit for Today: Did you know that St. Patrick was actually not Irish at all? He was British, if you can believe that, and was kidnapped by some (probably drunken) Irishmen in the 15th century and made a slave in Ireland. He later escaped, but he returned to Ireland as a Christian missionary later in his life. Interesting tidbit I thought. HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!!!

"Oh What a Beautiful Morning"

As I stepped out my front door this morning, I took a deep breath and had my first taste of spring. I know it's only March 4th, but today was the first day I smelled spring. Laugh all you want, but yes, I can smell the different seasons. I can smell holidays too. Jealous?

Anyways, back to this glorious day. It couldn't be more beautiful. I am speechless and in awe of nature and life today. It's the kind of day you just want to be outside, maybe with a good book and a cup of coffee, sitting on a patio. It's the kind of day you want to spend with your friends and loved ones. It's a day to be thankful. It's a day to smile no matter what. It's a day to send your friends nice notes or messages, just to say hi. It's a day to do something nice for someone else, maybe even someone you don't know. It's a day to read a snuggie blog and almost spit out your coffee. It's a day to get excited about cuppies and joe - FYI, it's going to be even MORE beautiful tomorrow, Meesh!

It's a day to quit smoking. And it's a day to ask my friends and family to not only support me in this endeavor but also to kick my often rotund backside if I try to slip up. ; ) That's why you have support systems, right?

Here's to more beautiful and HEALTHY days! Happy Hump Day!

Quote of the Day: "Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." - Will Rogers

Tidbit for Today: If you're looking for something to do tonight, McNellie's Public House in Midtown has a great Wednesday special! $3 burgers - and this isn't just any burger....it's HUGE! And delicious! Plus, it comes with fries. You could go split one with your hubby, boyfriend or fiance, throw back a few pints and not dig too deep into your pockets. Enjoy!

A Case of the Tuesdays

I was going to write about something profound and thought-provoking today, but screw it - I've got a case of the Tuesdays. And no, that's not a fun thing. It's basically like Monday is repeating itself. I'm stuck in Groundhog Day. No fun at all. Annie and I talked about having a case of the Mondays yesterday, where everything just seems to go wrong from the second your alarm goes off. You're tired, busy, don't really want to be at work and daydream about laying on your sofa with a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate (or glass of wine, depending on how bad your day is) watching movies - or in my case, a marathon the Food Network. I've found a new addiction and it's not good.

Anyways, you eventually get over your case of the Mondays and move on with your week. Yesterday after work I went to the grocery store and that kicked my Monday Blues out the window. I love the grocery store! It's amazing I don't weigh a thousand pounds considering how much I love food and cooking. But that's my happy place, and we all need at least one. It's the only way to pull yourself out of the pit of quicksand that is Monday. So fast forward a few hours and I've cooked a delicious dinner, cleaned my entire house, relaxed on the sofa and watched my favorite Monday night shows. I couldn't have been in a better mood. But then this morning, as I came into work, I realized that that pest of a devil that sits on your back on Mondays had climbed from the back seat of my loaner car and jumped right back on my back. It's just "one of those days." Too busy to actually get anything done, my morning is filled with annoying phone calls and requests from people to do their work. Needless to say, I'm already daydreaming about my sofa and there is no hot chocolate in sight - just a glass of wine and Giada. Hell, I'd even take Rachael Ray or Sandra Lee right now. And it's only 10am. Not a good sign.

What's funny is I'm usually a very positive person. I see that damn silver lining that people hate for me to bring up and I always try to find the bright side of everything. When I get short on patience and frustrated with the smallest things, I honestly begin to worry that I have Turrets or something because it's so unnatural for me to be angry or unnerved for more than 5 minutes. This weekend, when I was in a hurry, I screamed at an elderly couple who's car was in front of me and driving too slow in my opinion. Granted my windows were all rolled up and I was basically yelling at myself, but still. I was concerned with the way I was acting. But after thinking about this for a while I realized that everyone gets a little impatient or stressed from time to time. I bet even Mother Teresa let few curse words fly every now and then, the difference being that afterwards she probably fell to her knees and said 20 Hail Mary's and I just shrug my shoulders, but still. Even the most positive, hope-filled human beings fall apart or lose their patience from time to time. And it's okay! Actually, it's probably healthy, in my opinion. I find that it's therapeutic to express my frustrations and then go to my points of happiness in life - like my mom, my husband, my girlfriends, even this blog now. Once I connect with my points of happiness I'm able to pull my head up and realize that life isn't all that bad and I really should just suck it up and put a smile on my face. Now if the clouds would just part and let the sun shine through, I could kick my case of the Tuesdays out the door. Thanks, Michelle - I blame you. ; )

Quote of the Day: "The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue." - Dorothy Parker

Tidbit for Today: Check out this story - if it doesn't make you smile and wonder in amazement, I don't know what will. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/4927224/Pink-dolphin-appears-in-US-lake.html

Imagine

With the weekend finally upon us, it got me thinking about the imagination. As adults, we're taught to push our imaginations to the side and face reality. Get a job, buy a house, pay your bills, yadda, yadda, yadda, and so on and so forth. But the imagination is a powerful force and it will creep up on you. The key is to allow it access - give in and let the imagination take control. Dream a little. It'll amaze you what you come up with.

Think back to when you were a kid and the crazy stories you came up with in your head. It was so easy! I remember imagining that my measly tree house in the backyard was a palace, and a simple blanket thrown over a coffee table in our living room created a fortress that couldn't be broken into, no matter how many things my brother threw at it. A pile of bricks stacked up in the back your house somehow became a beautiful home with a fully functional kitchen and a comfortable bedroom in the back. It was amazing what my mind could come up with. I could entertain myself 24 hours a day, no problem. Mom and dad leave me home alone? Create a fantasy world upstairs. No one can come over to play today? Dream up 3 new friends. Nothing on TV tonight? Create and star in my own movie. The imagination was your home away from home when you were a child. And why, just because we're older and have more responsibilities than just color within the lines, should we let go of that? Now more than ever we need something to help us take our mind off the everyday worries that life brings. I love to take some time out of everyday - it could just be 5 minutes - and sit down and put to paper what's in my head. It could be a funny story I was thinking about or an idea I came up with. Whatever it is, I believe it's healthy to exercise our imaginations like that rather that bottle them up.

My challenge to you this weekend is to use your imagination and do something creative/fun/childish/downright crazy these next few days. Be carefree for a moment and let your imagination run wild. There's really nothing like the feeling of being a kid again - it's just a rush of joy.

Happy Friday!

Quote of the Day: "Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create." - Albert Einstein

Tidbit for Today: Start a journal of story ideas. These ideas could stem from dreams, experiences, family....your pool of resources is endless. This type of journaling exercises the imagination and expands your mind. Plus it's fun to look back later and see what you came up with. Pick up a nice, leather-bound journal from the Papyrus store and get a fancy pen - I feel it adds to the experience.

Old Fashioned

Another day, another thought. And today I'm thinking about the term "old fashioned." It is often used to describe someone in a negative way, and I'm not quite sure why. True, I used to call my mother old fashioned and tell her she just needs to "get with the times" (during those unfortunate teenage years) but now I find that I am in fact old fashioned - and very proud to be so. Now that I'm married I love cooking dinner every night and setting the table, doing the dishes (have to admit I've always loved that), picking up the house - making our house a home. Laugh all you want but I have many a time rushed home after work, cleaned up the kitchen, turned on just the right amount of lights to make the house welcoming and made our bed, all of this with my very high heels and pearls still on. Just this morning, I had the pleasure of making breakfast for my husband before he went off to work and I loved it. There is something very rewarding and comforting about being able to take care of your home and husband. Nowadays though, so many people see this desire as negative or demeaning to women. Because I like to cook and clean I am some how a mindless 1950's housewife who only gets excited about her new washing machine or refrigerator (note picture above.) I can't possibly be intelligent or driven, and I certainly don't have anything interesting to add to the conversation. Might as well just keep me in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. Pardon my language, but this is crap. I am a college-educated woman who works hard all day long to make my own money and I always have. I can't imagine staying home all day and being just a housewife right now - I would lose my mind. But having said this, I still embrace "old fashioned" values - only old fashioned because for some reason people have shunned them completely. I know feminism played a big role in us losing these values, and I'm all for women getting ahead - trust me I am - but there is no reason why we cannot still acknowledge the traditional roles in marriage and embrace them. Call me old fashioned all day long, but I'm proud of the way I am. I'm proud that I never lived with my husband before we got married. I'm proud that I cook dinner for us almost every night of the week (there are some nights that a nice, frozen pizza just really does the job.) I'm proud that I keep our house clean. I'm proud that I keep myself looking good for my husband. And I'm especially proud that I can do all of this and still have a job that I love and still do the things that I love doing, like writing or having dinners with my girls.

Today's entry may feel like a rant, but there was just some stuff that I had to get off my chest. To all the women out there who feel that they may be a little old fashioned, EMBRACE IT! There is something beautifully strong and feminine about being a modern working gal with old fashioned values. Or at least that's my opinion. What's yours?

Happy Thursday!

Quote of the Day: "The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity." - Dorothy Parker

Tidbit for Today: Today's tidbit is a recipe! I created it yesterday and it's DELICIOUS! I used homemade hummus thanks to my friend, Annie, but if you're not lucky enough to be friends with her, store bought would work just fine.

The Ultimate BLT

2 slices of french bread, lightly toasted

hummus

3 slices of turkey bacon, cooked and crisp

lettuce

1 small tomato, sliced

3 thin slices of brie, at room temperature

Spread hummus on each piece of your french bread. Place the lettuce on one side of the bread, top with the tomatoes, followed by the bacon and then the slices of brie. Place the other slice of bread on top and press down to hold it all in place. Enjoy!

Well, it's a Wednesday - why not start a blog. This was actually my friends' idea, though I think they only suggested I start this because they're tired of me babbling non-stop to them so they want me to have another outlet. Well here it is , in all it's glory. Not too exciting, I know, but this blog will always be a work in progress. All I wanna do is share my stories, my interests, my hopes, my fears, my desires, my loves. There is nothing particularly profound or earth-shattering about what I have to say - in fact I, the author, do not even know what I'm going to pen here. At the end of the day, all I want to do is inspire someone in some simple way, remind them of a funny story or an old friend, make someone laugh and encourage everyone to seek knowledge. Our hearts and minds should always be open; if they are, our souls will be nourished. Thank you for stopping by and I hope you enjoy this journey that I am embarking on. Happy Wednesday!

P.S. - I'm sure you've noticed my curious title for this blog. It comes from one of those stories that always makes you laugh, no matter how old or synical you are. It's a point of grace in my life (yes, Pants, that's a shout out to you) that reminds me of a good friend who has always sat with me and made me laugh, even when we've both felt forgotten.

Quote of the Day: "There is nothing that Joy and Love cannot do. Set your standard very high." - God Calling, A.J. Russell

Tidbit for Today: Go to the bookstore (DO NOT ORDER ONLINE!!! The smell and the experience of a bookstore makes it worth the trip) and pick up "God Calling" by A.J. Russell. A great daily read (similar to my blog??) that will help you reflect on your life.